There is kind of shift in the fourth chapter of Ephesians. Paul starts writing about everyday living. He says to live in a way that fits God’s call for you to have new and abundant life in Christ. First, he writes about the body of Christ: be united, be cohesive so you can follow God’s strategy to carry out his mission (see my last post).
After that Paul gets even more personal. He writes about how we live. Behaviors. Attitudes. Character. What we’re like. What we do. And don’t do. He says you are to act in a way that fits God’s call for you to have abundant life in Christ.
It’s important to realize the impression we make on people as followers of Christ. Brennan Manning quoted a 23-year-old woman: “To me a Christian is either a man who lives in Christ or a phony. You Christians do not appreciate that it is on this…that we judge you. You ought to radiate Christ. Your faith ought to flow out to us like a river of life. You ought to infect us with a love for him. It is then that God who was impossible becomes possible for the atheist or for those of us whose faith is wavering. We cannot help being struck, upset, and confused by a Christian who is truly Christlike. And we do not forgive him when he fails to be.”
What we are like makes a real impact on people and affects our mission.
We know that, and we know it’s tough. It’s a struggle. We see in ourselves the contradictions between our faith in Christ and some of our attitudes and behaviors. It can make you feel like a phony or hypocrite. It may make you wonder if you really are a Christian.
So we usually adopt 1 of 2 ways to handle that dilemma. One way is to make some kind of compromise. You settle for living pretty much like everyone else in our culture, and either say the behaviors condemned in the Bible are not really wrong or say there’s not really any way to change so I’m not going to worry about it. I think we all do that to some extent. It’s a kind of a lowering the standards of living Christlike.
Another way to handle the dilemma is to work really hard to be good. You identify a system of right and wrong – the 10 commandments or the Sermon on the Mount or your own assortment of behaviors – and by willpower do your best to obey. That’s how we teach our kids – at home, in school, in Sunday School – to live. We’ll usually have some religious activities to offset the bad behaviors and get God’s approval. When we fail, we ask God’s forgiveness and commit to do better. I think we all do this to different extents. It’s kind of taking on more than we can handle.
In Ephesians 4 & 5, the apostle says there’s a different way. The first part of this section (Ephesians 4:17-19) says don’t live like the rest of the world, the masses of people who don’t know God. Some behavior may be legal or socially approved, but it may not be good or right. Be careful, be wise about following society’s pattern for living. Sometimes there is not an absolute way to know; it’s something to which we should pay attention and examine. The point is that living by the same principles as people who don’t know God will lead to moral callousness, sensuality, impurity, and greediness.
The last part (Ephesians 4:25-32) is a partial description of what living in a way that fits God’s call looks like. Things like absolute honesty, peacefulness, generosity, building people up, extreme kindness. Then Paul caps it all with “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you” (Ephesians 5:1-2). That’s the bottom line of Christlikeness. It’s our ultimate goal – if we can get there, we will be living in a way that fits God’s call to abundant life in Jesus.
So, we see what living in accordance with God’s call does not look like and what it does look like. In the center of this section, Paul gives a description of how to live that way. Ephesians 4:20-24: But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.
This is completely different from how the masses of people with no connection to God decide how to live. It’s also completely different from how most of us Christians try to consistently live.
Paul offers assurance that we can live differently. “You did not learn Christ in this way” – the way the rest of the world lives and the way you lived before you came to Christ. When you believe in Jesus, he does not pat you on the back and say, “Keep up the good work. I’ll take care of you, bless you, get you through the struggles, and take you to heaven.” When he speaks and you hear, when he teaches and you learn, you hear about and learn about a different way of living that’s not like “your former manner of life.” You find a new way to live – different attitudes, priorities, goals, and behaviors.
How different? The old, former manner “is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit.” The new way is being “created in accordance with the likeness of God in righteousness and holiness of truth.” Old: lusts of deceit. New: likeness of God. Old: corruption, destruction, disintegration. New: creation, growth, life, restoration. The old is based on desires that come from being deceived, lied to. The new is based on what God is like, the rightness and goodness of knowing the truth. Yep, two completely different ways of living.
Andrew Luck retired from pro football in 2019. He was a quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts. Andrew did some things differently than the rest of the NFL players. When he got hit and tackled, he would say “good hit” or “nice play, buddy” to the opposing team member who hit him. That’s not what other players were used to. Their reactions are revealing. One player said, “In all the years I’ve played football I have never heard anything like it, nothing even close.” Another said, “I’m like ‘what’s going on? Aren’t you supposed to be mad?’ So then I’m the one who gets ticked off because an upbeat attitude isn’t something you see.” Then another sad, “His idea of trash talk is complimenting people.” It certainly was a different way of acting in a game. That’s similar to how Christ calls us to live differently.
Paul assures us we can. You don’t have to live by whatever desires bubble up. You don’t have to believe “whatever the heart wants the heart wants and you can’t do anything about it.” When you hear and learn from Jesus, you can have a different way of living.
But it doesn’t just happen. Something has to be done. “Lay aside the old self” and “put on the new self.” You get a picture: taking off filthy, tattered, worn out clothes and putting on clean, whole, perfectly fitting new clothes. The old way of living does not melt away. You have to make the change. Make a deliberate choice. Take specific action. The Bible doesn’t say to work really hard to be good, do your best to obey along with attending church, praying, Bible reading, and tithing. We are never told that’s how to live in the way that fits God’s call, how to be Christlike.
Here’s how, the key, the essential change – verse 23: “that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind.” 
We’re back to this truth we see everywhere in Ephesians: it’s what’s inside that counts. Christlike living is not merely behavior modification, following directions, obeying rules. It’s a deep, inner thing. Change happens from inside out. Renewing, remaking within produces new behavior.
Inside we have layers and layers of beliefs. I’m not talking about doctrine, but beliefs about who we are, how life works, and what God is all about. This is your internal guidance system. Behaviors come from internal beliefs. Usually these beliefs are unconscious. We don’t go around thinking, “I believe this so I’m going to do this.” Our attitudes and behaviors happen seemingly automatically. Your beliefs are so ingrained you don’t even think about them but do act on them.
Bad behaviors, wrong actions, sinful habits are based on believing lies. We’re deceived about who we are, how life works, and what God is all about. Remember the story of the first sin committed by Eve. The serpent lied to her, and she believed. The serpent lied about God: “he’s keeping something from you that will make your life better.” The serpent lied about who she was: “eat the fruit and you’ll be like God” (she was already like God, created in his image) – “you’re not good enough yet.” The serpent lied about how life works – “eat, you won’t really die; that’s not how life works; you have to take what you want then life will be better.” Eve was convinced and disobeyed God.
So, you “need to be renewed in the spirit of your mind.” Your internal guidance system needs rebuilt. Your inside beliefs need remade. The way that happens is to learn to engage with God in ways that change how we understand things. Relate and interact with God so we’re able to learn the truth about who we are, how life works, and what God is all about.
I’m going to describe ways to do that then give an example.
Start by honestly telling God what’s wrong in your behavior. Whatever it is – anger, lust, greed, compulsion… Know he does not condemn, does not reject, does not shame, does not stop loving. God welcomes you into his presence – he accepts you with mercy, care, and grace. You have to take what’s wrong to God (John 3:20-21). You can’t deal with it on our own.
Take the time for God to show you the truth. You’ve been believing lies, so you need the truth. You have to listen, watch, come to understand. God may teach you the truth through Scripture, from another person, with something that happens, or by direct communication. This will take time. You’ll need to pay attention – by meditating on Scripture, actively worshiping (not just sitting in a church service), talking with God, maybe discussing it with another person, maybe fasting, maybe getting away from everyone and everything for a day/weekend… The thing is to focus and make yourself available to hear from God. He will show the truth. He will show how he sees – how he sees you, how he sees this issue, how he sees what’s really happening. He’ll teach you a different perspective, a different understanding.
So then, you need to accept what God shows you for yourself. Accept it as the truth, reality – that’s what’s really going on, that’s why I’m acting this way, that’s what I’m trying to accomplish, that’s how I’m trying to protect myself, that’s what I’m doing to try to feel better. Reinforce what God teaches, keep accepting it, because you’ll want to default to the old way and beliefs. Reinforce it by memorizing Scripture or sayings, with a song, self-talk, write it down, share it with someone or with the church. This is important: don’t just reject the lies; intentionally accept the truth; replace the lie with truth. Believe what God shows you.
Then go with the Spirit’s leading. Whatever action or behavior the Holy Spirit leads you to take, go with it. Remember when Jesus went home with Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10)? Zach was a cheating tax collector. When Christ worked in his heart, he said he would give back 4 times the amount he had taken. That was not required; the Law of Moses commanded to give back double (Exodus 22). I think the Spirit showed Zach what he personally needed to do to really take off the old and put on a new way of living. Don’t just try to follow a law or principle. With truth in you, with new beliefs and a new internal guidance system, you’re able to go with the Spirit’s leading.
All this is done by faith. Not depending on your own ability and willpower. You’ll be renewed by looking to Christ, counting on him and expecting him to provide what you need, to enable you, to lead you through this process, to give you his love and grace. You will be “renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self” by faith.
Here’s an example: a man named Daniel, in his 50s, a Christian. Daniel lived with anger and hatred for his parents and siblings because of things that happened early in his family life. He knew he shouldn’t feel that way, knew he should forgive and love because he was a Christian. He tried – prayed, repented, worked at being better – but any time he was with his family, it was all he could do to keep his mouth shut and stay civil. The resentment and hostility would not go away. Finally Daniel came to the end of himself and asked God to show him what he needed to change. The Holy Spirit gave direct communication. A picture entered Daniel’s mind. It was all his family in 12 feet of water. They were thrashing around, trying to get air, desperately trying to not drown. One would grab another, push them down to keep himself up, then another would push them down. Daniel thought about this picture then it dawned: “they’re not mean, they’re desperate!” He understood that all the bad things his family had done were not them just being mean and nasty, but they were trying desperately, but wrongfully, to take care of themselves. Daniel’s heart broke – the bitterness and hate left, he felt compassion for his family and longed for their healing. When he saw his family the way God saw them – who they really were and why they acted so badly – he gained a new perspective, a new understanding, a new belief – his feelings and responses to them changed. He didn’t have to try to love his family, he just did.
We can live more like Christ. We can live differently – more fitting the abundant life we have in Christ. We can be renewed inside. It’s a long process, a long journey. As they say, the journey begins with one step…
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