First page of the funny church names archive

Weird church names

Posted by Mike Heady on February 2, 2017 with No Commentsas , , , , , , ,

Some church names are just weird. I guess they weren’t really thinking ahead when they chose what to call their church – or they drank too much communion wine.  I once saw a sign in east Texas for “Little Hope Baptist Church” – some but not much “hope for glory” (Colossians 1:27) apparently.  Here are some other weird church names.  These are real; they have to be cause they are on the internet.

 

            Mountain of Swallowing Problems Interdenomination Prayer Ministry

            Run for Your Life International Chapel

            Church of God-Zillah

            Boring U.M. Church

            Waterproof Baptist Church

            Big Ugly Freewill Baptist Church

            The House of God Which Is the Church of the Living God the Pillar and Ground of the Truth Without Controversy, Inc. (Keith Dominion) (the pastor has to carry his business cards in a backpack)

I’m not making fun of these churches (okay, a little). I’m sure they had their reasons.

There are the more common and accepted church handles:

Methodist church

Baptist church

Catholic church

Presbyterian church

Charismatic church

Pentecostal church

Christian church

Bible church

Conservative church

Liberal church

Community church

Contemporary church

Cowboy church

Hipster church

Biker church

Non- or inter- denominational church

Protestant church

Orthodox church

Fellowship church

Etc, etc, etc church (just in case I missed yours)

 

I have nothing against these church names, as such, but how about Jesus Church? (And not just as a name; there are some congregations that have been dubbed just that, fine, I hope they are.)  Jesus Church – because he said, “I will build my church” (Matthew 16:18).  Church that is all about Jesus.  Not about our doctrine or style or baptism mode or spiritual gifts or buildings or people.

Jesus Church. Believe him.  Surrender to him.  Follow him.  Trust him.  Worship him.  Become like him.  Serve him.  Hear him.  Love him.  Submit every thought, decision, plan, event, program, ministry, possession to him.

Jesus Church. Because he is the Son of God.  Because he is Truth.  Because he offered himself in death to save us.  Because he was resurrected to free us.  Because he is King.  Because he is Lord.  Because in him is life.  Because his name is above all names.

See, the world around us is in a mess. Racism.  Consumerism.  Terrorism.  Politicalism (new word).  Addiction.  Abuse.  Assault.  Abandonment.  Division.  Deceit.  Death.  Slavery.  Fear.  Lostness.  Sin (old word).  Etc, etc, etc.  And these won’t be made right, healed, redeemed by more Methodist, Baptist, Charismatic, Bible, Community, Cowboy, Liberal, Orthodox.  They will with more Jesus.

So, Jesus Church. Whatever name your church has, even if it’s Intercourse Methodist, make it Jesus Church.

 

But not:

 

Next up: weird church buildings